Author: Tammy Karatchuk

Freelance Reporter, Storyteller, and Photojournalist. Author of memoirs and contemporary romance. Former Edmonton Journal figure skating reporter, Edmonton Shaw TV broadcaster, and 680 CJOB (Winnipeg) reporter and weekend anchor. My frosted side includes pageantry, modelling, acting, and sometimes figure skating.

Owning Your Birthday When You’re Alone

In about eight hours, something different will happen.

Not completely different, just different.

For the first time in 20 years, I’ll be alone on my birthday. I have a ritual where I wake up and yell, “It’s my birfday! It’s myyyy birfday!” and then I break into song. Thank goodness the neighbours have moved out.

But no one will smile and say, “Yes, it is,” and then serve me breakfast in bed. And then lunch. And make me dinner. My birthday’s tend to revolve around food. I won’t go to Hecla or Hnausa dock for a photoshoot. Or have a scavenger hunt around the house or mall . Which I found rather stressful. If I owned last year’s birthday, I’m grasping this year’s like a cuddly teddy bear.

But some things never change.

Continue reading “Owning Your Birthday When You’re Alone”

Next Time You Pass a Car Wash and You Hear a Beep – It’s Probably Me

Last night, I ran out of coffee.

So, I rose with the sun. I accomplished some writing stuff, and then I slapped on a houndstooth hat and drove to the Arborg Co-op.

Which is the main part of the story.

At the till, I chatted with the cashier, and then I walked along the yellow-brick road to my dirt-caked vehicle. Why was I driving a vehicle caked with dirt?

With Def Leppard blaring, I headed to the Arborg Co-op Gas Station’s car wash. I drove into the bay, and I washed my Kia. With a wand. For the first time.

I’ve never wand-washed a vehicle. It was either a hand wash or drive through car washed. Needless to say, this was a new experience.

Continue reading “Next Time You Pass a Car Wash and You Hear a Beep – It’s Probably Me”

If I had a Nickel for Every Time I Bought Toilet Paper, I’d have a Dollar

I like online shopping.

No line ups, no changing rooms. No-helium voices from outside the dressing room, knocking eighteen times to ask, “Are you doing okay in there?”

Next time a retail associate does that, I’m answering in a male voice.

Of course, not everything can be ordered online. There’s grocery shopping. However, when I’m running late, too engrossed in work, or just not feeling peopley – the Interlake (Arborg) Coop delivers. Just groceries though. They tend to frown on the, “a four litre of milk, Nabob decaf, oh, and can you also stop by the post office and pick up my mail,” request.

But imagine my horror last week when I forgot to order an item. I double checked Coop’s pick list. Three times.

Toilet paper. I forgot to mention toilet paper.

Continue reading “If I had a Nickel for Every Time I Bought Toilet Paper, I’d have a Dollar”

Arborg’s Quaint, Not Different – The Vibe Of A Small Town

Small towns are underrated, and they’re often stereotyped.

My hometown of Arborg is quaint and unique – and cute. Maybe that’s too far. No, I think cute is accurate.

Arborg is cool. Maybe it’s our vibe. Or our constant stream of socials and gatherings.

Whether you were raised in Arborg, or you visited family or competed here in a sporting event, you noticed there’s something you can’t put your finger on.

Arborg’s different without being strange. We’re cool without being cocky. And we’re kind without being fake.

I love Winnipeg. With its history  and the Exchange District. Its downtown, and its Charleswood. But when I returned from Edmonton, I gravitated back home.

And home was Arborg.

And some things never change:

  1. Our postal code. It’s “R ‘Oh’ C, ‘Oh’ A ‘Oh’ ” because saying “R-zero-C, zero-A-zero is bizarre.
  2. We like coffee. We like Chicken Chef. And we like to go for coffee at 3 p.m. Every. Day.
  3. If you call a wrong number, chances are that person knows the person you’re trying to call. Hold on, because chances are they’ll give you the correct phone number too.
  4. Pothole season is one day.
  5. Construction season is two weeks at the most.
  6. If four vehicles come to a four-way stop, no one moves and…
  7. There’s one four-way stop in town.
  8. Chances are if you forget to lock your doors at night, you’ll survive.
  9. Chances are if you forget to lock your doors at night, you have a means of protection in the house. (We’re friendly, but we’re not we have our limits.)
  10. Everyone either knows everyone, or we know someone who knows someone else who is knows the person you’re talking about. Got it?
  11. Almost everyone owns either a: 1) snowmobile; 2) motorcycle; 3) ATV; 4) black or white vehicle; or 5) vintage vehicle
  12. It’s not a “garage” or “workplace.” It’s a “shop.”
  13. When entering the Arborg Co-op, account for visiting time.
  14. It’s common to see tractors, ATVs, and lawnmowers driving down streets – usually heading towards Main Street .
  15. We’ve had a rivalry with another town for over 70 years. Few people know the reason.
  16. If people don’t know how to find Arborg, we give them directions starting from Gimli.
  17. We have our own Starbucks. It’s called Ria Foods. And, no, they don’t have the Unicorn Frappuccino.
  18. The Arborg Bakery increases the town’s population on Saturdays.
  19. Chances are most people over 40 years old either shopped or heard of the Craft Post, Juna’s Footwear, Deren’s Hardware, Stardust Motel, and Workforce Fashions. Legendary stores that no longer exist, but the memories are passed down to younger generations.
  20. Same with JD’s, a restaurant which served the “Arburger” in the 1980s.
  21. We’re called Arborgians. Although Arborger has a nice ring.