Category: Humorous Stories

Next Time You Pass a Car Wash and You Hear a Beep – It’s Probably Me

Last night, I ran out of coffee.

So, I rose with the sun. I accomplished some writing stuff, and then I slapped on a houndstooth hat and drove to the Arborg Co-op.

Which is the main part of the story.

At the till, I chatted with the cashier, and then I walked along the yellow-brick road to my dirt-caked vehicle. Why was I driving a vehicle caked with dirt?

With Def Leppard blaring, I headed to the Arborg Co-op Gas Station’s car wash. I drove into the bay, and I washed my Kia. With a wand. For the first time.

I’ve never wand-washed a vehicle. It was either a hand wash or drive through car washed. Needless to say, this was a new experience.

Continue reading “Next Time You Pass a Car Wash and You Hear a Beep – It’s Probably Me”

If I had a Nickel for Every Time I Bought Toilet Paper, I’d have a Dollar

I like online shopping.

No line ups, no changing rooms. No-helium voices from outside the dressing room, knocking eighteen times to ask, “Are you doing okay in there?”

Next time a retail associate does that, I’m answering in a male voice.

Of course, not everything can be ordered online. There’s grocery shopping. However, when I’m running late, too engrossed in work, or just not feeling peopley – the Interlake (Arborg) Coop delivers. Just groceries though. They tend to frown on the, “a four litre of milk, Nabob decaf, oh, and can you also stop by the post office and pick up my mail,” request.

But imagine my horror last week when I forgot to order an item. I double checked Coop’s pick list. Three times.

Toilet paper. I forgot to mention toilet paper.

Continue reading “If I had a Nickel for Every Time I Bought Toilet Paper, I’d have a Dollar”