Category: Opinion

Losing Grandparents Doesn’t Become Simpler with Age

On December 2, 1984, my Gigi Karatchuk died at the age of 67. Baba died two years before him when I was six years old. I always understood death, but trying to process grief and primary school math is complex. Decades later, we lost our maternal grandparents, and those emotions resurfaced.

Losing grandparents is difficult, and it’s unique for each person. There isn’t a time limit because grief shouldn’t end. You will forever feel the loss when there’s an empty chair. You will have your moments and memories. Embrace your loss. And never be afraid to cry.

My Gigi Karatchuk died on December 2, 1984 at 67 years old, and Baba died also at 67 years old on October 12, 1982. My older sister is the one wearing the striped shirt, and I’m the one sucking my thumb. Photo, 1980

“Grandparents are only with us part-time.”

That was the gist of a late-80s MTS commercial.

As young grandchildren, we’re fortunate to remember and make memories with our grandparents. When our grandparents are still with us in our teen years, or our 20s, 30s, or 40s – we believe they are invincible.

Continue reading “Losing Grandparents Doesn’t Become Simpler with Age”

I Owned My Birthday – And It Was Perfect

Hnausa Dock, Manitoba. A little “Titanic” re-enactment.

My birthday was the best.

I didn’t enjoy my birthday last year. Turing 40 didn’t bother me. The day was fun but it didn’t go as planned.

However, 41? It was perfect. Breakfast in bed. Lunch in bed. I didn’t leave my bed until 2:30 p.m.

I revamped any plans my husband made with no apologies. Before we left the house, I took fifteen minutes to decide what to wear. Spend another thirty minutes on my hair. I decided I wasn’t going to rush. It was my birthday.

Too often, people forget their birthday is about them. They’re caught up in the, “Oh, you planned this for me, and this, and this.” And they’re so exhausted from going place to place, they forget whose birthday they’re celebrating.

The day is about the person celebrating their birthday.

This year, I didn’t have two surprise parties. I love seeing my friends, but not when I’m exhausted from working. This year, I didn’t pretend to enjoy myself in a casino. Why a casino? No idea. I was told they were taking me somewhere with an ice cream bar, and I didn’t ask questions.

But that’s the mistake. Remember when we were little? People would ask, “What do you want for your birthday?” We knew. Nine times out of 10, we knew. Clothes, perfume, makeup, CDs, gift cards, etc. As grown ups, we’re vague. Don’t be vague. Especially women. Be direct.

If you want to spend the day eating a gluten-free Reuben in bed – like I did – say, “I want to spend it in bed – alone.” Or if you want to go on a trip with friends, then go on a trip with friends. If you want to spend your birthday with family or have a huge party, then go for it.

Because your birthday is about you, and it should be your choice how you spend the day.

After all, it is called your birthday.