Losing Grandparents Doesn’t Become Simpler with Age

On December 2, 1984, my Gigi Karatchuk died at the age of 67. Baba died two years before him when I was six years old. I always understood death, but trying to process grief and primary school math is complex. Decades later, we lost our maternal grandparents, and those emotions resurfaced.

Losing grandparents is difficult, and it’s unique for each person. There isn’t a time limit because grief shouldn’t end. You will forever feel the loss when there’s an empty chair. You will have your moments and memories. Embrace your loss. And never be afraid to cry.

My Gigi Karatchuk died on December 2, 1984 at 67 years old, and Baba died also at 67 years old on October 12, 1982. My older sister is the one wearing the striped shirt, and I’m the one sucking my thumb. Photo, 1980

“Grandparents are only with us part-time.”

That was the gist of a late-80s MTS commercial.

As young grandchildren, we’re fortunate to remember and make memories with our grandparents. When our grandparents are still with us in our teen years, or our 20s, 30s, or 40s – we believe they are invincible.

Continue reading “Losing Grandparents Doesn’t Become Simpler with Age”

My Short Career as an Anthem Singer – O, It was Cool

It started at a restaurant.

In 1995, I was working the closing shift at Arborg’s newest, coolest, hippest restaurant, “The Wild Apple.” At the helm, two guys barely who were barely 22 years old working with servers who were also under 22 years old. My eight-hour shifts flew by as I served pasta primavera and Reuben sandwiches.

As I finished up for the night, *Bert the chef tuned the kitchen radio to the Winnipeg Goldeyes baseball game. So much for rocking out to mid-90s music and Bob Seger.

It was the first game of the season, we caught the anthems. I said, “That’s what I want to do.”

“What?”

“Sing the anthem.”

“Then do it,” said Bert. “The worst thing in life is to have regrets.”

A few months later, I moved to Winnipeg to attend the University of Manitoba. Three weeks later, I withdrew from the University of Manitoba. At least I was able to use their skating facility for the remainder of the year. Proving education is never a waste.

After university-gate, I started to work at the Melrose Coffee Factory. And one month later, I found myself in country recording artist Ray St. Germain‘s basement. At the time, he had ten teaching slots, and he had an opening. But, you don’t just saunter in and walkout a St. Germain student. You have to audition.

I’d been singing for awhile, but my mom suggested I switch to country. Admittedly, it suited my alto range. Celine Dion and Mariah Carey did not.

After a few months of lessons, Ray and I made a demo for my anthem audition. A couple of Ray’s students also jumped into the Goldeyes anthem audition game. I thought, well, this just became a competition. 

At the time, the Fish didn’t play out of Shaw Park. They pitched out of the demolished Winnipeg Stadium near Polo Park Shopping Centre. I mailed my demo on a cassette and singing resume (yes, those exist) and I hoped for the best. And – joy – I was called in for a live, in-person, face-to-face audition. Barely two days later, I received the phone call of a lifetime: I was chosen as an anthem singer.

I sang at two Goldeyes games, and they were completely different.

The first one required only O Canada. I waited near the edge of the field as the lyrics ran through my head. Then I heard people calling my name. Cool, people from Arborg were at the game. Waving at me. No pressure.

My attention went back to the field as the announcer said, “Please welcome to the field to sing our national anthem, Winnipeg’s own, Tammy Karatchuk!” I had goosebumps. I stood on the pitcher’s mound, the crowd looked massive. I remember the cheering. The applause. The vibe. It was an amazing experience.

The second time I sang for the Goldeyes was a nightmare. Rain pelted the field. Thunder echoed in the distance. I had to sing both anthems. I thought, no sweat. I sang under rainy conditions many times and …  holy crap that’s lightning! Lightning! Fork lightning!

I didn’t even hear the announcer. I didn’t hear anything. I don’t know if the crowd cheered. Before I went out, someone swaddled me in a Winnipeg Goldeyes wind breaker. As I inched towards the mound, I heard thunder. As per protocol, the American anthem – The Star Spangled Banner – is sung first.

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn’s early light…

On cue, there was lightning in the distance. Fork lightning. Not the non-dangerous spoon lightning. “ … what so proudly we … ” and I sped through the song faster than a cheetah on steroids. Because I was in the middle of an open field holding a lightning rod in the form of a cordless microphone.

This wasn’t the time for, “Well, a real professional wouldn’t let the possibility of death bother her,” Um, yeah, no. I barely remember singing “O Canada” before I gave a quick wave and beetled off the field.

However, that wasn’t the end of my anthem career. The Winnipeg Cyclone Basketball team! I sent them my anthem demo, and they called too. But what to wear?

In April 1996, I watched – and recorded – Winnipeg Jet’s anthem singer, Jennifer Hanson, deliver the anthems for the last time at the Winnipeg Arena. She rocked a little red dress, and I wanted to follow her lead.

Whenever I sang at bars, fairs, or events, I’d dress for the occasion. Ray used to say, “Make yourself memorable.” When I sang with him at the Holiday Inn in 1996, I wore a full-length navy jacket with a faux fur collar, and I shimmied out of that to reveal a strappy copper dress.

It wasn’t a red dress, but for my first Goldeye’s game, I wore a cute blue outfit. The second game, I chose a black romper dotted with daisies.

But when the Cyclone called, I stepped it up. Wearing a full length, low sweetheart neckline forest green velvet dress with a high side slit.

The Cyclone games were at night. Before the basketball game, I met the Cyclone Lightning Dance team. Two years later, one of the members and I ended up modelled together – but that’s for another post. I was super pumped to sing the anthems. Excited to be at the Winnipeg Convention Centre. Relieved it was winter. Zero threat of lightning.

Maybe it was the acoustics. When they announced the anthem, the response from the crowd was super loud. Again, I had to do both anthems. I ran through them several times prior to the game, and I was confident. 

It was smooth sailing as I started the American anthem. Until the “ … through the twilight lights last gleaming” and let’s hit that high note “… oh say does that star spangled banner yet wa -insert embarrassingly noticeable voice crack here- y.”

My voice cracked like the last kernel of popcorn. But, the pro-Canadian crowd cheered as though it were a figure skating competition and I’d landed a triple. Which threw me for a loop, because I messed up – and I paused and smiled – and I realized, shoot, finish the song. When I started O Canada, again, I was thrown off by the cheers. Rambunctious cheers throughout the song. Totally different than the baseball crowd. I didn’t expect this. I liked this.

I waved to the crowd, and I left court. As I passed the mic over to the announcer, I just said, “That was so much fun.” The dance team were already on the court, and some whispered, “You were good,” and “That was awesome!” and “You’re coming back, right?”

But, I didn’t.

That was my last appearance as an anthem singer at a sporting event.

In of June 1997, I moved back to Arborg and I had to cancel my audition with the Goldeyes for the upcoming season. I sang the anthem for the Arborg High School’s Remembrance Day services and the Arborg Skating Club’s ice show.

I returned to Winnipeg – wow, I sound like a nomad – I auditioned again. When I sang for the Goldeyes the first time, they were in their second-year as a team. Fast forward, and more anthem singers were coming out of the woodwork.

In 1999, I sent in my cassette and singing resume. But my previous anthem experience didn’t grandfather me a spot. However, I made the cut for the live audition. I sang for two people, and they mentioned my country “twang.”

“I see you sing country.”

“Yes. I’ve been singing country for about four years.”

“Yes, we can tell. There’s a definite country … twang.”

When I received the call, my heart skipped a beat when they said, “We’ve made our decision, and we’ve chosen three people.” Okay, this is my “yes.”

It was my what hurts the most is being so close moment. It came down to my “twang.” They feared it wouldn’t resonate with everyone. After a close vote – I was fourth. Pretty sure it was a distant “twang” fourth. At the time Shania Twain and Garth Brooks were ripping up the charts, but they didn’t want someone with a twang.

Undeterred, I auditioned every year – minus one – until 2007. Without success. Sometimes I made the live-audition cut. Some years I didn’t.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers were seeking anthem singers for their 2019 season. With seconds ticking away, I sent them an MP3 of O Canada. On a whim – and the last day for submissions. I sang into my Smartphone, sitting in my vehicle about to leave Arborg.

I didn’t receive an audition, but I was happy that I tried.

And that Bert encouraged me to get in the game in the first place.

Help Me, hangTag – I’m Stuck in a Parkade with a Ten Dollar Bill

I prefer street parking.

No concrete, minus the curb. Those quaint parking metres? Accepting all forms of payment. Impark’s hangTag app. Love it. Forget the long lines. So long, waiters!

But parkades? They’re basically jails for vehicles.

In a previous post, I wrote about my fears: tornadoes, bees, and underground parkades. It’s parkades, period. Under or over. If vehicles were meant to be stacked, they’d have Lego on their roofs.

Last month, I was late for a routine appointment with my epileptologist. Technically, I was on time, but I couldn’t find street parking. Time dwindled, I was forced into a six-floor dungeon. The Emily Street parkade.

Maybe it had five or seven floors. I wasn’t going to count.

The clearance bar seemed so low, I ducked while entering. Driving at the pace of a turtle with a broken leg, I parked on the second floor. Or first. They label parkade levels weird. I rushed to my appointment. Then, I rushed back through falling snow to escape.

The pay station was in the basement aka ground level. Isn’t that like calling a napkin a bath towel?

A pay station is a simple concept. Pop in your ticket, pay the fee… a smidge over two hours tallied $8.70. No comment. And you know “no comment” means there’s a comment and it’s not appropriate.

That particular pay station accepted only 1980s-style payment: Visa, MasterCard, and cash. Surprisingly, no cheques. Debit? Ah, that’s cute. I pulled out a five dollar bill, and then I saw the sign. A real sign, not the song.

“This machine cannot accept bills at this time. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Meh, no problem. In went my debit card.

“Cannot process payment.”

Right. Only Visa, MasterCard, and cash. I forgot with the stress from hearing the creaking with vehicles entering and exiting parkade. Can’t moisture from the snow soften concrete?

In went my MasterCard. Out came my MasterCard.

“Cannot process payment.”

That’s impossible! Because I just received an alert on my mobile saying the payment went through, you little theft. I tried again – I don’t recommend doing this unless you have zero choice. Again, “Cannot process payment.”

Visa. It accepts Visa. I don’t have a Visa. But I have Visa Debit. Which I tried out of pure desperation. Visa Debit cards don’t have a chip. But they have a strip.

The pay station hesitated, and I thought, “It’s working!” No, the machine was probably thinking “Are you kidding?” before spitting out the card.

Then, aha! I remembered there was another pay station on the first floor. I almost left a note for the next payee, “Save yourself! Go to the first floor,” but all I had was an unchecked lottery ticket from 2017. I thought leaving false hope in a parkade would be cruel.

I bypassed the elevators and raced to the stairs. I’m also not a fan of elevators. Close proximity. Sharing air. Touching icky buttons that someone probably licked. You’ll think twice next time, won’t you?

The first floor pay station was fully operational! I popped in my five dollar bill. Pushed a loonie into the coin slot, followed by my endless coin collection.

One time, I paid almost five dollars worth of parking with quarters, dimes, and nickels. The pay station at the St. Boniface Hospital was practically hoarse from saying, “Please insert payment.”

Back to the dungeon:

A coin was rejected. But I kept shovelling in the change until I hit lint. I was 10 cents short. Luckily, the rejected coin was a dime, and I tossed the 10er into the slot. But, no deal. And clang.

Well damn.

An American dime. Same size but lighter than the Canadian dime and refused by vending machines from coast to coast to coast. Ten cents prevented me from fleeing.

Now, came the tough part. I had a $10 bill from days of yore – or circa 2016. I wanted out, but whoa, let’s not go crazy. One does not break a 10 dollar bill due to an American dime.

It was Franklin D. Roosevelt verses Sir. John A. MacDonald. Showing the age of the bill, since Viola Desmond graces our modern $10 notes. I wasn’t going down without a fight! It was me verses a pay station!

I slowly dropped the dime into the slot. No. Then I tried a little hop. Think coin basketball. Or water pong.

While battling the seven-foot, slot-faced bandit, a woman came up behind me.

“Don’t you hate these things?” she said as I slammed that dime over and over into the pay station a gambler who thinks Vegas closes.

“Yes, especially when they don’t cooperate.” Yes, I talk to strangers. Defeated, I turned to her. “Would you have a Canadian dime? Mine’s American, and the machine won’t accept American coins.”

She laughed and opened her wallet. “Let’s see what I have.” She had only one dime. We giggled, and I swapped my 13 cents for her 10 cents. I shot the in dime and … ding, ding! We have a winner!” I practically hugged her, and I grabbed my “Get out of parkade free” card.

I raced to my vehicle, jumped in, and fled like the wind.

Problem was, when I arrived at the gate of freedom, I had to insert my parking ticket. Normally, I don’t have an issue reaching the intake slot from my vehicle. But that particular morning, I re-adjusted my seat. I’m not short, but I have short legs. While they need to touch the pedals, I can’t be too close to the steering wheel. That morning, I was too far from both.

I popped the vehicle into park and stepped outside. Insert, accepted, and the bar rose. I scampered into the vehicle, quickly re-adjusted my seat, and then I pressed the gas. It sounded like Sunday Cruise Night pressed their gas pedals in unison.

I forgot the vehicle was in park.

Regardless, as I rolled out of the parkade, I thought about the chain of events. What if I’d been on time for my appointment? What if my appointment was shorter? And if I went straight to the first floor pay station, and that woman hadn’t been behind me? And I waved the white flag and used the 10 dollar bill?

That’s taking the easy route. I like a challenge.

But next year? I’m checking all my change.

~~~
Photo credits: Pixabay

Owning Your Birthday When You’re Alone

In about eight hours, something different will happen.

Not completely different, just different.

For the first time in 20 years, I’ll be alone on my birthday. I have a ritual where I wake up and yell, “It’s my birfday! It’s myyyy birfday!” and then I break into song. Thank goodness the neighbours have moved out.

But no one will smile and say, “Yes, it is,” and then serve me breakfast in bed. And then lunch. And make me dinner. My birthday’s tend to revolve around food. I won’t go to Hecla or Hnausa dock for a photoshoot. Or have a scavenger hunt around the house or mall . Which I found rather stressful. If I owned last year’s birthday, I’m grasping this year’s like a cuddly teddy bear.

But some things never change.

Continue reading “Owning Your Birthday When You’re Alone”