Tag: Humorous Stories

Next Time You Pass a Car Wash and You Hear a Beep – It’s Probably Me

Last night, I ran out of coffee.

So, I rose with the sun. I accomplished some writing stuff, and then I slapped on a houndstooth hat and drove to the Arborg Co-op.

Which is the main part of the story.

At the till, I chatted with the cashier, and then I walked along the yellow-brick road to my dirt-caked vehicle. Why was I driving a vehicle caked with dirt?

With Def Leppard blaring, I headed to the Arborg Co-op Gas Station’s car wash. I drove into the bay, and I washed my Kia. With a wand. For the first time.

I’ve never wand-washed a vehicle. It was either a hand wash or drive through car washed. Needless to say, this was a new experience.

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The Misunderstood Frosted Mini-Wheat: A Journey of Self-Discovery

I’m fun.

But few people know about my Frosted Mini-Wheats side. They think I’m a plain dry Shredded Wheat. The large type you need almond milk in order to add flavour.

Few people understand me. I’m a serious person, and when I make a joke it causes confusion and uncomfortable nods. My humour isn’t offensive. It’s sarcastic. Blunt. Dry. Awkward.

In 1998, I met a counsellor at Red River College. Within one visit, he understood me. Our visits focused less on my marks and more on who I was and what I wanted out of life. Everyone deserves to have an experience like meeting a Tim Thurston. When I look back on our visits, they remind me of tapered down appointments between Sean Maguire and Will Hunting from “Good Will Hunting.”

*Language warning

He was that awesome. Our visits were sometimes two hours long. Tim didn’t think I was a plain Mini-Wheat. He knew the real me. Who wanted to be a writer, broadcaster, and a model. Who loathed business administration. Who had a crush on a DJ.

Continue reading “The Misunderstood Frosted Mini-Wheat: A Journey of Self-Discovery”